A word to the wise....

Things I have learned in the past week:

1. I should stick to making my award winning (truly) killer brownies. My biscuits do not rise and are more like cookies. Hmmmm, maybe adding chocolate chips would have saved them. Nah, probably not.

2. And while my fried chicken stays moist - the crust is lousy and I will have a permanent scar on my face and stomach from where the HOT grease splattered and my delicate skin blistered. Ouch. From now on - I'll just go to Popeyes.

3. Never underestimate the speed of a dog with stubby legs when they are engaged in a sport they really enjoy..... such as pigeon chasing. Poor little thing. The bird, I mean. Not the happy dog.

4. If you don't quickly praise a cat for doing a good job of a catching a mouse, they will meow loudly and drop it on you while you sleep.

5. Valium helps when a 10 year old is going through puberty. Wait. Let me rephrase that.... Valium helps the PARENT......

6. Since I've been self-un-employed, I've won the powerball three times for a grand total of 9 bucks. I've been living off my winnings. I didn't win that much in all the time I was working. Go figure.

7. While my home never looks anywhere near as bad as any place ever shown on How Clean Is Your House?, housework takes more time and effort than I care to expend. Will the dusting ever end? Will ~K~ ever learn to pick up her things and to stop doing craft projects in my bed? Will I ever stop waking up with yarn, dental floss, scissors, and q-tips stuck to my butt? Will I miss this when she's grown up and gone?

So tune in next time... same bat time, same bat channel.... to find out if your heroes will perish in some diabolical way or will they just linger on... loving and learning and driving each other, well, batty.