Halt! Who Goes There?
The morning of the first attempt, I went to the hardware store and bought a woven steel cable and a special padlock and chained it to the tree. I suppose they had to wait until they could steal a big bolt cutter strong enough to do the job. They did.
The table's been here longer than I have. I feel so violated. I've not been able to sleep. I have dreams of them coming in the house - but at least in my dreams, I have the right and ability to shoot them.
They also stole some tools. They must have been in a hurry because there was so much other stuff nearby but they only took what was nearest the door.
I console myself by thinking that it could have been worse. No one was hurt. It was only a table. Valuable, but a table nonetheless.
But it was OUR table. They have no right.
Be it known that the table is cursed. They may not realize it but they will suffer - directly - for stealing our table. Not to mention the karma they incur.
And may the fleas of a thousand camels infest their armpits as well.