Once upon a time.....

.... there was a tavern
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours,
Think of all the great things we would do

Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way

When my mom was young, she spent many summers at her aunt's camp. Down here, a camp is a house built on pilings over the water along the shore of a lake. She still tells me stories of fishing and crabbing and swimming in the lake and how much she loved it.

As I was growing up, we'd rent a camp every summer and spend a few weeks enjoying the life of Riley. We'd crab and fish and swim, just as my mother had done many years before. Every afternoon it would rain, and we saw thunderstorms, rainbows and even water spouts on the lake. We went for boat rides, waterskied, and body surfed. We caught fish and crabs and clams and cooked and ate it all fresh out of the lake (there was WAY less pollution then). We stubbed our toes and got splinters from the runs (local vernacular for the piers running out to the camps from the shore). I still have a scar on my leg from a camp accident I had in '78. We got sunburns and tried to lighten our hair and would flirt with boys we'd meet on the lake.

But we stopped getting a camp when I went to college..... hurricanes blew many of them down, the costs of renting a camp drastically increased and finding time to get away became harder and harder.

Then, the busy years went rushing by us
We lost our starry notions on the way
If, by chance, I'd see you in the tavern,
We'd smile at one another and we'd say

Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days

Last year, a close family friend asked if we wanted to get a camp together. Recalling the days when we were young, she said that she wanted to make some new happy memories. My mom said that she would come out a few times but not every day. She had too much to do, taking care of my dad and all.

Well, she said that until the first time she went swimming. She really enjoyed being out there, watching the rain and the sunsets, boating and crabbing and eating. Mostly though, she loved being in the water. Every day she'd go swimming with ~K~ (even with the pollution and the tales of man-eating sharks. (Ok ok, it was a little shark and it only bit a kid, but it was a male kid.))

One time she turned to me and told me that she never thought she'd be swimming in the lake again as she had loved doing years ago. She also felt that this would probably be the last time too as she was old and might never again have this opportunity. I assured her that we would do this again. Perhaps next summer.

Just tonight, I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass, I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely woman really me?

Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days

Since last summer, we've been discussing renting that camp again... the whens and hows and such. Until this week. My mom's health has been suffering for the past few months. We've seen doctors and had tests and it's been confirmed. My mom has leukemia. And it's at the stage where her immune system has been compromised. She will never be able to swim in her beloved lake again as the chance of her contracting some infection or life-threatening bacteria is too high. (Yes, the lake really is that polluted.)

It saddens me that she was right, she'll never have that experience again to do something she loved so much. But, I'm busy trying to make more happy memories for us, for ~K~, for me. Trying to fit in as much as possible in whatever time we have left together.

I also spend time just sitting with my parents, asking them question after question about their childhoods and early days of marriage. I ask them to recall their family histories for when they are gone the stories will be lost forever. I'm trying to learn all I can about who and what I am and who and what ~K~ will be.

Life is really so short and we take so very much for granted. Every day, I think - did I tell the people I love just how much I love them? I wonder if every good-bye kiss is really the last one we'll share? I'm not ready to let them go and actually, don't think I'll ever be.

Through the door, there came familiar laughter
I saw your face and heard you call my name
Oh, my friend, we're older but no wiser
For in our hearts, the dreams are still the same

Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days


Those Were The Days, My Friend
by Mary Hopkins