I just want to get this off my chest
(one of my favorite buttons from my fandom days)
The sheer number of things that must be done in order to reconstruct your life after a disaster is enormous and sometimes overwhelming. Especially when dealing with government bureaucracy and the ensuing red tape.
Unbelievable are the number of hours that one spends sitting and holding on the phone. Or sitting in line holding a number. Or standing around waiting for the phone or a seat in line. Or waiting for the letter to arrive in the mail. Or waiting for "the people" to call or come by.
Sit here. Stand there. Roll over. Jump through this hoop. You'll do it too if you want their help - without which, more often than not, you absolutely need to survive.
And even worse.
(yes there's something even worse)
The people who have no idea what all the sitting and standing and waiting do to you on a daily basis. And you feel that you are constantly swimming upstream. And emotionally, and physically, there is a limit to what you can actually get done in the average day. Even if you can't sleep at night.
These people criticize. And they tell you what you should be doing instead or wonder why you aren't accomplishing much.
And all the while they offer little-to-no real help themselves. Sure they sympathize. Sure they have ideas and will gladly tell you what to do. But they don't consider the whole picture. Just the parts that benefit them. Never what's really best for you. Mostly 'cause they really don't know or understand you. Or care.
And even worse.
Yes, it still get's worse.
The many people who feel that you should be doing more. And doing it Faster.
And all the while your days are filled from dawn to dusk and beyond. With the regular activities of life that still have to occur on a daily basis. Still must be performed. Like cooking. And cleaning. And laundry. And grocery shopping. And doctor's appointments. And studying. And holidays.
Add to that mixture: trying to take care of your old home, locating your missing friends and relatives, and grieving for what you've lost.
Top that with having to start a new life in a different, unfamiliar place. Learning to drive around a strange new city. Buying a new home. Getting a new job. Finding the right new schools. Replacing with new, what is lost and gone.
Waiting for the different parts of your life to catch up to speed because nothing is happening at the same pace. And still, none of it happening quick enough to please the onlooking commentators. I've heard some say things like "Get over it already and move on." From people who think they know it better. And people who haven't lived through it.
Easier said than done though. In fact, real easy to say when you are on the outside looking in.
So it's worth my saying this again:
It must be nice to be wearing your own underwear and nightclothes. And watching your own tv in your own living room and then going to sleep in your own bed. Can you do your laundry, cook and wash dishes or even flush the toilet without someone else telling you that you are doing it wrong and how you should be doing it?
Ok - unless you are in prison or the military, that is.
But Yes~ It must be really nice living your life. You are quite fortunate.
We, however, can't get over it that quickly. Not yet. Because we're still living it. Every Single Day. But we will get over it. Eventually.
With a little time. Some patience. And the invaluable assistance of compassionate people. We will get it all together. And THEN we'll move on.
So. If you are not part of the solution, you are a big Big BIG part of the problem. And you should just STFU.
You know who you are. Reading this post. And my others.
You really should be minding your own business.
And while I'm at it, let me repeat some things here that I've said before. Loudly and Clearly. So there's no misunderstanding. No misinterpretation. No distorting my words.
Don't talk that talk until you walk my walk.
Leave us the hell alone.
Thank you and have a nice day.