KTG, this one's for you

Every morning, I watch classic reruns on TV Land. "Green Acres" (1965), "The Dick Van Dyke Show" (1961), "I Love Lucy" (1951). I hadn't viewed a Lucy episode in many many years. Neither Lucy nor "The Brady Bunch" (1969). Why? you ask... well even if you don't ask, I'll tell you. It's too stressful. Too nerve wracking. Some thing, some plan is going to go awry and someone ends up in trouble. At least one of the Brady's and always Lucy. I used to project myself into the programs and think about what I would do if I were in those situations. I would hate to feel the embarrassment, the humiliation, first hand. Second hand was bad enough.

I think everyone wants to be the star of the show, have the spotlight on them, be the center of attention for a little while at least. But the light that shines on one's outstanding performances is still the same one that accentuates the poorer ones as well. Every blemish, every error is highlighted just as much as the accomplishments. I don't need that kind of scrutiny in my life.

And then not too long ago, it hit me. Just because both Lucy and I had red hair, didn't mean her personality quirks and constant mishaps reflected back on me. Oh sure, I've had my share of crazy antics but I didn't have to worry about attempting to outsmart anyone like a husband, like Ricky Ricardo. Except for my parents, I'm really accountable to no one but myself. And most of the plans I do come up with are fairly well thought out as I've never really been one of those "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of gal.

Then I realized. I'm not Lucy. I'm Ethel. The cohort in crime, but the one who almost always comes out smelling like a rose. Not the star of the show, but a strong supporting character whose presence is actually quite necessary. I mean, where would Lucy be without her?

Yes, Ethel is content to live vicariously through her best buddy and contractually obligated to weigh 20 lbs. more. However, her song and dance talents far far surpass Lucy's so that every now and then Ethel's own star is allowed to shine in a small way.


But who is the Lucy in my life? Who is my brilliant and talented comedienne, always having something up her sleeve, always trying to outsmart her clever spouse? It wasn't hard to find the Lucille Ball of my show. KTG.

Oh the stories I could tell. If only I could remember them. Going along with her wacky schemes simply because she was so much more ingenious than I could ever be. Always aware that one day we could get in real trouble - but then it would be Lucy who'd get arrested, wouldn't it? And Ethel would be the one to bail her out. That's me. The faithful sidekick.

I try to talk KTG out of some of her schemes, give her a dose of reality. I really do. Try, that is. I'm not always successful and more often than not, find myself involved in some sort of coverup for her creative plans. I don't mind though. Sometimes, I'll admit, it is fun. And sometimes, life with Fred, well, could use a little spicing up.

Life would be so very boring without my Lucy. Without KTG. Her bold and daring ideas and subsequent adventures are indeed the things Hollywood screen writers wish they could come up with. It's rarely dull, that I can assure you. And since I am contractually bound to her, having sold my soul to the devil to avoid jail time of my own, I look forward to our future episodes.

And I can now watch the other Lucy shows. Stress free.