To sleep, perchance to dream.... NO THANKS.

I cry every day. A lot. The littlest thing might set me off. I can't watch the news at all - that's a definite trigger. Nor can I view pictures of the city. Yesterday I only cried twice though... a definite improvement. My sister says she cried all day long - so that only counts as once, right?

I cried when the church group brought sandwiches to the food stamp office for us. I cried when I found out my brother's (B2)co-workers chipped in cash to pay for the gas for him to come rescue us. And again when his friend pressed money into his hand for him to go shopping for fresh produce for us. And yet again when the I saw the $20 a lovely lady, Tiffany, at the shelter hid in a prayer booklet that she gave me as I left. And again during the holiday my niece, K3, and her 'friend' J, should have spent having fun, but instead used it to drive hours to pick us up from the shelter and deliver us to the airport. K3 even volunteered to walk the dog while I used the facilities and she's not even a dog person. Talk about devotion.

But the crying list is endless.

I cry over what was and what might have been. What I lost and the little I have. I cry because I am so grateful to be alive, my family and friends are almost all safe and accounted for, the kindness and generosity of strangers, the anger and animosity of the ignorant, and the uncertainty of our futures.

If I'm not crying, I'm worrying. A lot. When I think about things. Any things. Which I try not to do very often. I've much experience in blocking out distasteful thoughts. A skill which has come in quite handy lately. Like Scarlett O'Hara - I won't think about it today. I'll think about it tomorrow.

Sometimes though - stuff is too overwhelming. And I absolutely have to think about it. Deal with it. I've been dealing with insurance companies, banks, government agencies and all the associated bureaucracy.

I even had to call to make a payment on my FLOODED storage unit so that when the waters do recede, my stuff isn't sold at auction before I have a chance to sort it out. The wonderful gentleman on the phone asked "Is there anything else I can do for you today?" And I laughed. "Yeah, I've got a list.... First you can get my car out of the parking garage in downtown New Orleans...." He laughed with me. I appreciated that.

I worry most about the health of my parents - this was hard and very draining for them. I worry next about where I'll live, what I'll do for a living, what ~K~ will do for schooling. And I can't even really talk about this stuff, 'cause, well... See the section on "crying" above.

Also, I've been sick and so has ~K~. Some family members think it's because we had to walk through the polluted flood waters to get out. Others think it's a reaction to the tetanus shot I had to have. And ~K~ thinks it's because she's allergic to grass (we could only grow weeds in our yard - no grass)(where does she get these ideas anyway?). Or it could be that both the cat and the dog insist on sleeping with me in a twin bed. Or that when we arrived here - there had been 2 other cats and 3 other dogs previously occupying this space.

But now my mom is getting sick too. So add that to the section on worrying as I have no health insurance nor do we have a medical care system to rely on here.

On top of that I don't sleep well. And when I do, I dream. Always flood dreams. While the dreams are not necessarily bad - they are always filled with water. You know, it's a wonder I'm not getting up to pee more than usual during the night. You have to look at the bright side of everything, don't you? Last night however, the water dreams had bodies floating. I hope that was a one time deal.

Anyhoo, we've been keeping busy doing regular household tasks and then getting rides to stores for basic necessities as we can never remember everything we need all at one time - no matter how many lists we make. Trying to get suitable clothes and we all need shoes - specific types for specific foot ailments. And have the pets looked at by a vet - just to be checked over.

We still don't know what's going to happen to us, but at the very least, we are all together. Yes, we are quite fortunate indeed.

Again, thank you for your good thoughts and prayers sent our way.