Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Agree with me now. It will save so much time.

Why would a man even attempt to argue with a woman? There's no way he'll win. And if he does prove his point (a fantasy, I know), drives his point home, "wins" in his estimation, he's definitely not gonna get laid then, so what did he really win in the end?

Especially when this is only their second conversation ever. And it's on-line.

Here is the recent scenario:

Man contacts woman, makes small talk. Well, not really small. Man loves sound of own voice. Or is that the click of his own typing? Blah-blah-blah.

Last conversation with man left woman unimpressed and bored beyond tears. As much blah-blah-blahing ensued.

Woman foolishly politely continues to respond to man's blah-blah-blahing and attempting neutral conversation, makes a light statement re: current events. More specifically re: the friggin' weather. Yes, that was woman's mistake. Tragically not her first nor last.

Man thinks woman's statement (about the friggin' weather) is wrong. Man, even more foolishly, points out perceived flaw(s) in woman's statement (about the ever lovin' blessed FRIGGIN' WEATHER).

Woman is well-educated and very smart but doesn't want to brag. Or discuss it. Woman reads current events crap even though she doesn't like it. Woman defends her statement as much as she hates to do that as woman believes she is only here to provide the facts, not clarify nor rationalize them. Much less to a mere man. Man can look it up.

Or man can just stick his fat head out the door and check the friggin' weather for himself.

Man thinks he is smart and educated because he uses big words. Blah-blah-blah.

Man pooh-poohs woman's statements OF FACT and provides b.s. source of his own, most notably - a science fiction author. (OMG can you believe it?)(And no, this man was not Tom Cruise.)

Woman absolutely hates debating. You don't agree with woman, fine. Let's shift subjects because once woman's mind is made up, only large quantities of cold hard cash will change it.

Maybe. :)

Woman desires to keep conversation light. Woman prefers to be entertained. Woman wants wit. Woman likes laughter. Woman is really not that hard to please.

Man. Blah-blah-blah = Woman. ZZZ

Woman attempts to bring current weather-related discussion to speedy and light-hearted end by stating what is not only common knowledge but verifiable fact. "There's no use arguing with a woman. We always win."

Woman does not mention unspoken factual follow-up: "continue to press your point at this rate and you're never getting laid." But woman thinks it. Woman does not want this man to ever think he had a snowball's chance in hell.

Man then spews forth the following vitriol. Man says, quote, "Ok. when you attempt to end a discussion with the myth that women always win. You are not contributing anything to the discussion of the topic. You merely end the discussion and possible (sic) the relationship as well. What you lose is respect. You do not win anything except your own pritde (sic)."

Blah-blah-blah. Man has thick skull. Man obviously still drags knuckles when he walks. No wonder man ain't been gettin' much lately. Of anything.

And. As if. Woman's self-esteem is derived from man's opinion of her? Hah. Or woman desires his respect? HAH. Or worse, woman has to win her own "pritde"? Double HAH.

Has woman mentioned the blah-blah-blahing?

Woman, showing incredible restraint, tells man to "lighten up" as she is way too polite to say "Shut the *F* up!" At least that day, woman was polite. How lucky for man.

Man however gets the point and shuts the *F* up. Man is now learning rather quickly.

Woman :) and the conversation ends. Man goes away.

Woman thanks God for small favors.

Will man read this post? Possibly. Would man recognize himself? Probably.

Is man sitting at home all alone? Definitely.

Men may have their will, but women shall have their way.


  • At 7:42 AM, Anonymous sporkfoo said…

    uh. i think i know this man in question.

  • At 7:45 AM, Anonymous spork said…

    i take that back. i had overlooked a sentence or two that precludes my guess. Or at least I'd *hope* it precludes my guess.

  • At 7:51 AM, Blogger Queen of the Universe said…

    You know him only in the sense that the "Man" in this post pretty much resembles every other men we've ever met. This was just one of the most recent "winners". I'm having that kind of luck lately

  • At 11:21 AM, Blogger Queen of the Universe said…

    But I know who you thought it was. :) It really does sound like him too.


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