Saturday, December 23, 2006

Oh No! She Did'Ent!


She did.

I'm sorry. I saw it coming and tried to prevent it. But like a speeding fright train, she moved at a frightening rate and at the last minute I was too paralyzed in my tracks to stop it.

Here's the story:

We took ~K~ with us to Wallyworld and to keep her entertained while I searched for some particular holiday gew-gaw I needed, my mom trailed ~K~ through the toy department.

This is NEVER a fun activity with an ADHD kid. Look! There's a chicken.......

Uhm, yeah.

S0, as we had eliminated some previous options for my mom's gift to ~K~ for failure to hold her attention for say, more than 5 minutes, my mom decided to just stand back and observe the items ~K~ most enjoyed. Our plan was to return the next day and purchase said items.

Of course, as mom had been assigned the main duty of paying attention, I was able to swoop in at the last minute, said a few inattentive yet appropriately placed "ah"s and "oh"s, and we resumed the rest of our shopping expedition. My mom then indicated that there were a couple of items she definitely wanted to return to get for ~K~.

The next day, we went back to the store and I approached the aisle where ~K~ had pointedly shown me the toys over which I "ohh"ed and "ahh"ed. However, my mom said that wasn't what ~K~ really wanted.

"No?" I aked, surprised, "this is what she showed me. At least I think it was as she pointed over here."

"No" my mom said, "she wanted something on this other aisle."

"Oh. Ok" I responded. I didn't know. I wasn't in charge of following ~K~ the previous day.

See, I'm building the suspense here with the recounting of our witty dialogue exchange.

We reached the aisle my mom indicated and she said "It was here."

"What was here?" I asked.

"The thing she wanted" my mother replied.

"What was it?" I asked looking at an aisle full of toys and boxes of various shapes and sizes not recognizing anything from the day before.

And here it comes:

"I don't know" my mom told me.

"Well, what did it look like?" I logically asked. "What did it do?"

"I don't know" my mom said again.

"Well, can you describe the box?" I inquired further.

"I think it was a black box" my mother told me, "and it was right here on this shelf" pointing at the EMPTY space with NO indication of what had previously been shelved there. An empty space among tons of boxes.

"I think it had lights or made a sound or something" she added, trying to be helpful.

We are in the electronic toy section of Wallyworld. Can you see the dilemma? Can you feel my pain?

"Could you be a little more specific?" I asked, biting my tongue.

And then, at the same time, we both saw the poor defenseless, overworked, seasonally employed Wallyworld associate. And it was as if I could read my mother's mind.

"Mom," I pleaded and begged and whined, "you cannot possibly ask that woman to find you an item that you cannot even describe."

And my mother said, "I'll just ask her what was right here in this spot yesterday." Which not only did she ask, but she practically dragged her over to show here the empty space on the shelf.

So to that poor sales personnel I offer my deepest apology. Again. I'm sure you get all sorts of strange requests and questions. Idiotic people badgering you all day while you try to work as well as the clientele.

It really wasn't fair to ask you to find an item that we don't even know what it does or what it looks like or what it is with only a vague description of the type of box it was in and a general idea of it's previous location.

My only hope is that you find some consolation in the fact that after we left your store, I took my mother to yet another Wallyworld to look through their toy department for said item.

And no, we didn't find it there either.

Happy Holidays.


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