Thursday, December 21, 2006

It's just another one of the perks of being a woman.

My body is revolting. And I don't mean that in a repulsive way. Although at times I certainly have those kind of moments. Doesn't every woman? Well, every woman except Angelina Jolie or Halle Berry.

For the past month, my body has been rebelling. Apparently, enough is enough. Too many long hours at work. Too many long hours worrying about the goings on at work. Too much worrying about the goings on at home. So much that things I could normally manage, I now cannot.

I forget appointments, missing days of the week altogether. I wander around the parking lot of Wallyworld trying to find my car. Sometimes walking right past it without recognizing it. I stop speaking mid-sentence forgetting completely what I was talking about.

I actually thought it was early-onset Alzheimer's as sometimes, when I speak, the weirdest words come to my mind instead of the actual word needed. I think "telephone booth" instead of "lightning bolt". "Ostrich" instead of "computer." Stuff like that. Go figure.

I also have bodily pain, so severe that at times it immobilizes me. Migraines and arthritis. The ghosts of old injuries flaring up. And in the past month it's been getting worse.

In addition to the everyday pain I experience, this past week I was subjected to, (huge stage whisper), female problems, so agonizing that I required an ambulance ride to the hospital when I could no longer tolerate it. Pain so severe that I cried away my waterproof mascara and was willing to have people, more specifically, the ambulance drivers and everyone at the hospital, see me practically naked, i.e. without makeup.

And all throughout, I have tried to maintain my sanity through humor. I mean, if you can't laugh, then you truly have lost. I don't take life too seriously, it isn't permanent.

And I can laugh at my own expense. Sure, it might be a little embarrassing at first but I do feel better if I can see the humor in it all. Especially in light of the indiginity of something like, say, well, (smaller stage whisper than before) pelvic exams. And there's nothing like having strangers peering at your uterus within minutes of meeting you.

So it was an experience such as that the other day which made me appreciate the humor in a site like this one:

And since I haven't been able to finish up my holiday shopping, these might make great Xmas gifts as well.

Never trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die.


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