Tuesday, March 29, 2005

"Stupid is as Stupid Does"

So I go to the gynecologist yesterday (the "O. G. B. Y." as referred to by another patient) which causes me great stress. I hate the whole routine at this particular clinic and hate the student doctors I see there even more. This time I planned to refuse to participate in the first part - the measurement of the weight and blood pressure. I know I'm overweight and I know that going to this clinic makes my pressure shoot through the roof. I then spend the entire appointment time arguing with the doctors about the causes for these elevated numbers instead of the real reasons I am in the clinic. Happens every time.

I tell the nurse that I have not and will not have my weight and pressure checked today. Obviously, NO ONE has ever refused to participate in this part of the routine before. She was incredulous. "Well, that's the basis for the doctor's to make your diagnosis".

What I'm thinking: "What on God's green earth does my weight and pressure have to do with an examination of my crotch. How does this affect my PAP smear?" What I say: "The doctors will get over it." I'm trying to be polite and remain calm.

During the course of the exam, I am asked no less than three times if I'm ready to have my weight and pressure checked. Every time I explain that I already know I'm overweight and at this moment I know that my pressure is elevated simply from the stress of being here, not to mention the additional stress of having this conversation over and over. It will not be a true indication of my regular blood pressure measurement. Also, I do not want to spend any more time discussing these things in this clinic. I will deal with them in my regular med clinic.

It fell on deaf ears. Manipulative ears at that.

At the end of the torture session, when I am called to schedule my mammogram, the nurse says. "In order to schedule this appointment, I have to have your weight and blood pressure."

What I'm thinking: "WTF?" What I say: "Well I guess we're not scheduling it then, are we?" (What I'm thinking: "Manipulative bitch!")

"You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar, but you can also catch more flies with garbage than either of them other two - assuming' you are into catchin' flies."


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