Sunday, May 06, 2007

le mieux que je connais les hommes, le plus j'aime mon chien

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Complain About My Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. To you, it's an animal. To me, s/he is an child who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

I absolutely love my dog. In fact, I like dogs better than most people I know. Here's why:
  • Dogs do not have problems with public displays of affection.
  • Dogs miss you when you're gone.
  • Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.
  • Dogs don't brag about who they've slept with.
  • Dogs don't criticize your friends.
  • Dogs do not play games with you--except fetch. And dogs never laugh at how you throw.
  • Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you're together.
  • Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
  • Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
  • Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
  • Dogs can be trained.
  • Dogs can be forced to take a bath.
  • Dogs don't correct your stories or your grammar.
  • Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.
  • Dogs do not care whether or not you shave your legs or underarms.
  • Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
  • Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
  • Dogs never get bored with you and look for someone younger and more exciting.
  • Dogs never act ashamed to be seen with you in public.
  • Dogs do not ask to borrow clothes, money or your car.
  • Dogs think you sing great.
  • Dogs do not ignore you when you come home from work. In fact, the later you are, the happier they are to see you.
  • Dogs never tell you to "shut up."
  • Dogs understand when you cry.
  • Dogs don't ask you to spend time with their mother.
  • Dogs love you more than they love anybody else.
  • Dogs are utterly disinterested in professional sports.
  • Dogs don't criticize the way you keep house.
  • Dogs don't demand to control the TV remote.
  • Dogs love you unconditionally.
  • Dogs are satisfied with a belly rub.
  • Dogs don't mind morning breath.
  • Dogs don't ask why.
  • Dogs don't smoke.
  • Dogs won't drink your last beer.
  • Dogs never break promises.
  • You're always Number One with your dog.
  • You can bury a dog in the backyard, no questions asked.

The greatest love is a mother's; then a dog's; then a sweetheart's.
~Polish Proverb~

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1 Comments:

  • At 4:34 PM, Blogger JohnH985 said…

    I agree completely. I like my dog more than I like most people.

     

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