Sunday, September 24, 2006

I can't say as I completely disagree.

Warning.... some profanity ahead.

I'm not into rap or hip/hop or anything like that. I found these lyrics as a post on Craig's List from this past January and tracked them down to LazyB and decided to put 'em here. It was the last "paragraph" or "stanza" that really got to me. I'm not sure if the CL post was plagarized as it was credited only to the "Madd Poster" with no nods to LazyB.

Who is LazyB? Go look here or here

"Underwear Goes Inside The Pants" Music Video by Lazy B

Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal? It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
You know what's not natural? 80 year old dudes with hard ons. That's not natural but we got pills for that.
We're dedicating all our medical resources into keeping the old guys erect but we're putting people in jail for smoking something that grows in the dirt.
You know, we have more prescription drugs now. Every commercial on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can't watch TV for 4 minutes without thinking I have 5 serious diseases.
Like, do you ever wake up tired in the mornings, oh my god I have this, write this down whatever it is I have this.
Half the time you don't even know what the commercial is. There are people running through fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
That is the greatest disease ever! How did you get that? That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now, it's all about self esteem in schools.
Build the kids self esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem who's gonna dance in our strip clubs?
What's gonna happen to our porno industry? These women don't just grow on trees.
It takes lots of drunk daddies missing a lot of dance recitals before you decide to go blow a goat on the internet for 50 bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday with my new high speed connection?

If you sing sing sing,
Sing your song,
Sing for me, come on sing,

Sing sing sing,
sing your song,
sing for me

Mastermind is another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorist masterminds that are being killed over in the Middle East.
Terrorist masterminds.
Mastermind's sort of a lofty way to describe what these people do, don't you think?
They're not masterminds.
"Okay you take bomb, right, and you put in back pack and you get on bus and you blow yourself up."
"Why do I have to blow myself up, why don't I put.."
"Who's the fucking mastermind here, me or you?"

Americans, lets face it, we've been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity - Obesity.
They say we are in the middle of an obesity epidemic. An epidemic, like its polio.
Like, we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day, THE GREAT OBESITY EPIDEMIC OF 2004.
"How did you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh it was horrible Johnny but there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."
Nobody knows why we are getting fatter. Look at our lifestyles.
I'll sit at a drive through - I'll sit there behind 15 other cars instead of getting up and making the 8 foot walk over to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal. Supersized. You want biggy fries with that? You want a jumbo fry? You wanna go large? You wanna biggie fry? You want thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother f**er? There's room in the bag. Take it! You want a 55 gallon drum coke with that? I'ts only 3 more cents.


Sometimes you got to suffer a little in your youth to motivate you to succeed later in life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?
Of course not. You gotta spend a lot of time stuffed in your own locker with your underwear wedged up your arse before you think "I'm gonna take over the world with computers. You'll see I'll show them."

We're in one of the richest countries in the world, and the minimum wage is lower now than it was 35 years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for some money the other day and I was gonna give it to him but then I thought "you're just gonna use it on drugs or alcohol."
And then I thought "that's what I'm gonna use it on, why am I judging this poor bastard."
People love to judge homeless guys. Like, you're giving him money, he's just gonna waste it. He's just gonna waste the money.
Well, he lives in a box. What do you want him to do with it? Save up and buy a wall unit? Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a cd rack? He's homeless.

I walked behind this guy the other day, a homeless guy asked him for money, he looked right at the homeless guy and goes - "why don't you go and get a job you bum?"
People always say that to homeless guys, "get a job," like it's that easy.
This guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants. I'm guessing his resume ain't all up to date.
I'm predicting some problems during the interview process. I'm pretty sure even McDonald's has an 'underwear go inside the pants' policy.
Not that they enforce it very strictly, but technically, I'm sure it's on the books.



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